Before I gave birth I had a plan. An idea of how I pictured everyday life would be with a newborn. I would wake up early feed Aspen, rock her back to bed, get my workout in, get the laundry and dishes finished, Aspen would then wake up and we would have a fun filled day of giggles, cuddles, and utter perfection. Boyyyyyyyy was I wrong. As much as I love schedules, plans and organization, my life now revolved around little Miss Aspen and how she wanted the day to go.
It wasn’t until after I gave birth did I learn a few things that would soon help keep my sanity in check. Ok Mommy Tribe here are a few tips that greatly helped me get through the beautiful chaos that occurs with having a newborn.
1) I can not emphasis this tip enough, Work Together! I know not everyone has a support system or partner that is present in yours and your babies life. These women are 100% super humans in my eyes. The strength you women/men possess with raising a newborn on your own is courageous and amazing in my eyes. I applaud you. But for me, having the support of my husband was a lifesaver. Mind you my husband is a very deep sleeper so when Aspen woke up through the night I took it upon myself to change, feed, and rock her back to sleep on my own. It wasn’t until the sleep deprivation sunk in that I could feel myself crumbling. I woke my husband one night after Aspen woke up for the fourth time practically in tears from exhaustion. He gladly told me to go to sleep while he took Aspen fed her and rocked her back to sleep. Work together when you can ladies you don’t have to be super Mom 24/7. We are already super from giving birth to these beautiful babies, we don’t have to keep killing ourselves trying to do everything alone when there is someone there that can help out. So Tip #1 Work Together.
2) Don’t think everyday is going to be perfect. There will be good days, but remember there will also be bad days. Realizing this early in motherhood will save you a lot of stress and frustration. Again, I loveeee my schedules and planning my day out to a T. I know what I am eating before the day starts, what chores need to be done, to what errands I need to accomplish. When you have a newborn, sometimes (more so than not) your day will revolve around THEIR schedule. So understanding and knowing you may not accomplish everything you hope to in your day will save you from stressing out when you don’t finish that load of laundry or run those errands you needed too. The only thing you might accomplish is remembering to feed yourself. And that’s OK. We are not perfect. So Tip #2 Good days and Bad days.
3) Some women can breast feed and some can not. This, ladies, is OK. I was like most women who felt the only way to be a good mom was to be able to breast feed my baby. The bonding between this intimate moment was something I only dreamed of. I found out pretty quickly that my body was not producing enough milk for my babies needs. I was crushed. I felt like I was not a woman who couldn’t properly provide for my child. I was lucky to make 3 ounces from both breasts a day. I always heard that babies who are not breast feed develop more allergies and their immune systems are not as strong. This inability does not define what kind of a mother I am to my child. Aspen was formula feed from 3 weeks on and she is thriving. Before she was a thin little baby who was not gaining weight as quickly as she needed to. It wasn’t until I began to feed her formula did she actually start gaining healthy weight. So Mommy tribe tip #3, if you are to take anything away from this post, take away that all ‘norms’ are no longer considered norms. Your baby needs what your baby needs, breast feed or not. As long as your baby is healthy and thriving thats all that matters.
4) It’s OK to make mistakes! I have never heard a mother tell her story of pure perfection while raising her children. No body is perfect and that goes for mom’s as well. And you know what, your child will love you no matter what! Besides how boring would your journey be if everything was perfect? The best stories start off with, “You will never guess what happened today!? So ladies put that diaper on backwards, forget to put their butt paste on, and accidentally warm their bottle up too much and now you have to cool it down while your child is being fussy in your arms. Love every ounce of this beautiful chaos. Tip #4 understanding that its ok to make mistakes.
5) ASK FOR HELP! I had a hard time with this, and quite frankly I still do at times. Us women are strong, independent, multi-tasking genius’s that try our best to do everything on our own. We like to accomplish what we set out to do and raising children is one of those tasks. We want to be super mom, we want to be super woman saving the day while cooking dinner at the same time. But this too will soon pile on our strong shoulders and knowing when to ask for help will again keep our sanity in check. If you are blessed enough to have others around such as family and friends that can help you when you truly need it, allow them to assist. You are still going to be a super mom, it’s just some times you need that extra 30 minutes to tidy up the house or to just drink you coffee with no interruptions. So this is my last, but most important tip, Ask for help.
I hope these tips help all you new and experienced moms out there. Remember we all have a little super woman inside of us!